Baby, We Da Best...The Best They Ever Had

I love being a part of the intern class that changes the program.

My 10 Year Plan...Sort of

I just got homework for my LEAP internship.

We're supposed to write out our short-term (6 months to 1 year), medium (1 to 4 years), and long-term (5 to 10 years) goals.

Man, I don't want to think about it.

I guess I have a general plan though...

Short-term:
1. Graduate Georgetown.
2. Find a job!...or a fellowship...or an internship...just SOMETHING.
- and/or -
2. Be in graduate school.

Medium:
1. Be working at a non-profit...or something along those lines.
2. Attend/finish graduate school.

Long-term:
1. Be the director (or some other position) of a non-profit (Yeah, this possibility has recently come to my mind. I mean, why strive to work at a non-profit when I can direct it!)
2. Start an event production/planning company with the sister. Or maybe I can just work my way up one.
3. Open a pastry shop with the sister.
4. Travel around the world.

I guess I just want to wake up every morning and like/not dread going to where I have to go or doing what I have to do.

This summer has been a wonderful example so far.
(Can I just say again how much I love my job?)
So was last summer, mostly.

What Would It Take for You to Care?

I think I've found the main difference working at non-profits and working at a lot of other jobs. I'm pretty sure I've realized this before, but yesterday I was sort of like, "Oh em gee. That's what it is."

I remember working at the Social Security office two years ago. It was Monday to Friday, 8:30 am - 5 pm. Right after 5 pm, though, my brain completely shut off anything related to social security. There was no rush, no deadline, no more work...until the next day. But working at non-profits, I feel like I'm on perpetual work time. Even when I leave the office, my mind is thinking about it: I'm still checking my emails and replying, I'm going to meetings and events at night and on the weekends...It never stops!

Like, yesterday, I was at a workshop/conference thing from 9 am to 5 pm. Sighhhh.

But I think it was good, because I did get to see and hear a lot of people/things and realize/learn stuff.

Here they are:
1. I wish people would see the talents of APAs and not just judge us or pass us off because of our race. I think we're doing great things, too, and not just in mainstream society. A lot of APAs aren't just involved with APA issues, but they still care about them.

2. I don't think I'm very utilitarian. I used to write papers like I am, especially when the stupid prompt gives you the number of people's lives in the thousands. Then it's sort of like, okay, I need to create the greatest amount of good. That was also my mentality when I first went to college. I was thinking about saving the world and helping out the poorest and neediest places. I took so many classes on Africa, development in third world countries, etc., and I was so determined to improve their lives. But somewhere along the line, I realized I think I'd rather be here, because communities here have problems, too. It may not seem like the BIGGEST problem compared to some other places, but they exist. I no longer feel like I have to save the world; I think I'd be okay knowing I "saved" one person somehow.

3. Life's formula: 1/3 learning, 1/3 working, 1/3 giving back.

4. A lot of APAs don't see how issues in the APA communities are real or how it's related to them. I guess it comes with the whole model minority myth. But if anything, I just want to point out that the struggles are real. APAs deal with legitimate issues every single day. Sometimes, it includes a hate crime that results in a murder. And then there's poverty, health care, immigration...I know other communities face it, too, but it's different for each. Relative to other communities, sure, we do okay. But if you really break it down, we're not ALL doing well. I think it goes back to the whole utilitarian thing for me; I don't necessarily think I have to help the supposed "worst off" group - 'cause then it's like the oppression marathon (Is that the term? why can't I remember it right now?!).

5. "Use what you might hate to pursue your passion." My mother tries to tell me this a lot. She knows what I really want to do probably won't make money. So instead of going into a career that doesn't make a lot, she always advises me to get a job that does make a lot of money so that I can use that success to help others in return. I still don't know how much I like this idea.

6. The #1 cause of death for young Asian American women is suicide. And a lot of times it's due to family pressures, trying to balance relationships and a career, self-image issues, etc. That was kind of a scary statistic. But like I said before: BALANCE. Ahhhhh - it's tiring.

7. "What issue would it take for you to care?" Really. I want to know.

8. I sort of had an idea how I want the APA community to be in the future, but I wasn't able to express it correctly. Fortunately, Teddy Zee, one of the panelists did. He said, "I want it to NOT be history when APAs achieve something; it should just be a part of a natural course."

9. After so many years in school, I'm still not sure what I've learned. If you ask me about mathematical formulas, dates and events in history, political theories, etc., I probably wouldn't be able to tell you. When it comes to topics in Asian Americam studies, however, I feel like I remember a lot. I can tell you the details of the Vincent Chin murder, I know the summaries for the Kenneth Chu amd Joseph Ileto murders, I memorize the study sheet for our APA Lit class like it's nothing...I want to learn more!!!

Yeah, so I didn't come up with this all just now.

I was kinda just thinking and writing down notes throughout yesterday's panel discussion.

It's sad that I was kind of thinking, "Hmm...I want to blog about this, this, and this." :P

Love Love Love

I love both of my internships a lot.

Being at Kollaboration is just really fun. It doesn't even feel like work...until you stress out about a diva or two. It's very flexible and comfortable. I mean, I watch/listen to YouTube, go to shows, and plan Pinkberry ticket tours. It doesn't get any better.

Being with LIA at LEAP is just so inspiring. Every one cares about similar issues and believe in what they do. I love it when we just talk about random serious topics, and every one knows something about or have an opinion because they care about it. Like gentrification.

Really.

Who sees Johnny Rockets opening in Little Tokyo and have their first thought be, "Gentrification!"

I did.

Locating Ourselves on Angry Asian Man

Since I discovered it several years ago, AngryAsianMan.com has been like my bible.
It's like the Perez Hilton of Asian American news - but more classy and less trashy.
I read it religiously every day...sort of.

The interns and I emailed Phil Yu to help us get the word out on our project.
Today, I found that we made it on the website!!!
http://www.angryasianman.com/2009/07/leaps-locating-ourselves-in-history.html

I am sooooo excited.
And the stories that are coming in have been amazing.

Aunt Jemima!

"This Is What I Live For"

I've actually never realized how much I think or write this, but I really do.
So that's supposedly my mantra.
It's completely true though. I get really lazy sometimes and I don't want to go to work or all these meetings, but then I think, "This is what I live for" and off I gooooo.

I can't believe I had to be videotaped for public speaking again after all these years. This hasn't happened since being in speech and debate in high school - and even then I think I only did it once. It's interesting how sometimes you used to be SO used to doing and even SO relatively good at can seem so foreign to you once again. I think that's how I feel with public speaking now. It's like being in a comfortable place but somehow feeling uncomfortable at the same time.

I thought I got this public speaking thing down, but after watching the videotape playback of it....uh, no, not really. I still get nervous and self-conscious; even though my brain tells me I'm not, my body always reacts differently.

It was kind of amazing how the facilitator was able to analyze each of us through our public speaking just by having us give that one minute speech. She said I was very goal driven since my eye contact focused on one thing and stayed there the whole time. Apparently, what best describes me is that I have a sense of graciousness and warmth. She also said I was the perfect balance of yin and yang because of how I'm packaged in a very feminine way, but I am also very male dominant. That supposedly means I should be an attorney.

Nahhhh.



Oh, I continue to be amazed by how dynamic and efficient our internship group is.
We are AWESOME.

This is what I live for.

The "P" Word

Apparently we shouldn't throw around the world "passion" too much because then it becomes a commodity. But still.

I'm all about letting passion drive you in what you do. But then again, I always whine about how not enough people actually follow that. I feel like it's so easy to get jaded when you work in the APA/APIA/API (yeah, I really need to figure this one out - soon!) community, especially when you're not around people who understand why what you do is important.

So thank goodness for the LIA retreat.

After a semester of dealing with diversity issues at Georgetown and a month of bumming around at home for the summer, I totally needed to be thrown back into people who are just as passionate about the same things.

I love this community to death.
Thank you for reminding me why.





There are also other "P" words that are representative of the retreat, but I don't think they're appropriate for this blog. Ahem.

Love and peace, guys. Or love and freedom.